I AM BIONIC BOOB GIRL

I know that you remember the "fembots" from Austin Powers. They had super powered boobs and, now, so do I! These expanders are so hard that they seem invincible.

If bionic boob girl were a super hero, what would her super powers be?

In other news, I had another expanding session on Tuesday. I am now sporting a C cup and, I must say, it's a bit obscene. Next week, we're on to a D!

AN OPEN LETTER TO MY PERIOD

Dear Period:

I've been missing you lately. I know that in the past I haven't been the kindest to you, cursing your presence and wishing for menopause. I am sure that all those crazy chemo drugs scared you and made you leave and go far, far away. But, it's over now, and I want you back! I promise that things will be different this time. I will learn to appreciate you and all you stand for. Please come back, Period!

With love,
Sarah

PUMP *CLAP* ME UP!

How funny would it be if my plastic surgeon was an Austrian bodybuilder?

I am off to my third round of pumping *clap* up! Today, I will go from an A cup to a B! It's amazing. I would have given anything for these kind of speedy results in middle school:)

It's amazing that women can go through all of this crazy stuff. That's why girly-men don't get breast cancer...they can't handle it! :)

Post Script: Yes, I know that men can also get breast cancer. It happened to Shaft. I was just trying to be funny and incorporate the term "girly man." Learn more about male breast cancer.

Oh, and thank you Charlie for giving me the Hans and Franz idea.

LONG LOST FRIEND: "OMIGOD, YOU CUT YOUR HAIR!"

Sarah: "Actually, it fell out because I had to through chemo for breast cancer."

My hair is getting to the point where it looks like I just decided to cut it. Lately, I've run into people who I haven't seen in long time and they always say something like, "Sarah! I didn't recognize you. You cut your hair! It looks great!" How am I to respond these people? Should I say something like "Yeah, it was getting too hot," or "I really needed an extra 15 minutes of sleep in the morning," or "My flat iron broke so I buzzed it in frustration"?

What a quandary!

BOOBS IN THE NEWS

Be sure to follow the current hearings in Washington, DC over the use of silicone breast implants. Currently, "sillies" (as I like to call them) are only available to a limited population for research. Luckily for me (or not, depending which side of the issue you are on), I am a member that limited population. After my pump-ups are complete, my plastic surgeon plans to use "sillies" to reconstruct the girls.

In other news, my pump up went very well last Tuesday. I'm at 160 cc's, and I expect to fill the expanders up to 500 cc's total.

ROUND TWO

I'm off to my second pump up today. Weeee...

LET'S CELEBRATE BOOBIES, ATHENS!

Breastfest is here!

Please mark your calendars for Saturday, April 2nd. Breastfest will be held at Nuci's Space in Athens. Local music favorites, Heidi Hensley, Audition with Max Reinhart, The Packway Handle Band, Squat and many more will perform. Additionally, Breastfest will also feature a breast health workshop, wall of hope, raffles, kidsfest, music and a drag queen show. Complete event information can be found online.

BreastFest began in 1999 as a tribute to Tyanna O’Brien, a New Jersey mother who lost her life to breast cancer at the age of forty-eight. Her five daughters carry on her legacy through a commitment to awareness and prevention of the disease.

This local fundraising initiative developed to increase breast cancer awareness, health and wellness through music and sport. All proceeds benefit the Athens Regional Breast Health Center and the Tyanna Barre O’Brien Breast Cancer Foundation. BreastFest invites everyone to Celebrate and Remember—celebrate life, celebrate survivors, and remember those who have died.

The Flagpole features a great article about Breastfest this week. You should definitely check it out. No, ...you should really check it out. You won't be sorry :)

I'VE GOT 'SKEETER BITES!

Not literally, but my third attempt at expanding proved to be successful! It didn't hurt a bit and it was not uncomfortable at all. I hope the rest go as well.

Now, I have wee boobies. Hooray!

THIS ONE'S FOR YOU, DAD

No, that's not my senior picture. It's just me hamming it up for the camera. I thought that I'd give ya'll a peak at what my hair has been doing. It's growing like crazy. Every Monday morning my co-workers come by my desk and tell me that my hair has grown over the weekend. I long for a ponytail! Speaking of ponytails, I want to share the dream that I had the other night. It was one of those dreams that are so real and so great that you awake from it extremely disappointed and depressed. You know the ones.

In my dream, I was in the bathroom brushing my long, silky blonde hair. As I sprayed product into it, my hair became shinier and shinier. I thought to myself, "Finally! It's time to put my hair into a ponytail!" So, I pulled my hair back into the long-awaited hairdo. And, it was the best looking ponytail ever! So beautiful! Then, I woke up and realized I still looked like a 14 year old boy. Very disappointing.

In other news, I am heading to the plastic surgeon for my first (fingers crossed) expansion this afternoon. And, in the words of Margaret, the brave heroine of Judy Blume's Are you there God, it's me Margaret, "I must, I must, I must increase my bust."

THE BEST DAYS OF YOUR LIFE

Photo c. 1992

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to revisit puberty? Well, if you ever have to go through treatment for breast cancer, you're in luck!

For me, there were three major milestones of puberty: getting boobs, growing pubic hair and starting menstruation.

I remember when I was a pre-teen, I used to dream about the bosom that I hoped to have one day. I often noted the bosoms of my women family members to see how mine might turn out. Since my mastectemy, I have started to dream about my bosom once again. What will it be like? How big will they be? I feel like I'm 12 again. And, I am told that the expansion process is like going through puberty in super-speed motion.

As you know, chemotherapy causes your hair to fall out, ALL your hair. Let's just say that I recently relived those moments from years past when hair started sprouting when it had not before.

Finally, chemotherapy caused my periods to go into hibernation. So, every day, I anxiously await for its arrival. I even had a dream about it last night. I feel just as I did in middle school when all the other girls had gotten their periods, while I waited and waited.

BC HAVING THE BEST WEEK EVER?

Either it's a slow news day or breast cancer is having the best week ever! I strolled on over to CNN.com today and noticed that the main story was about Melissa Etheridge and her bout with the good ol' BC. Check it out!

Also, I was indirectly mentioned on the University of Georgia's main Web site this week. The article mentions an inspirational message from a breast cancer survivor...that's me!

STRIKE TWO

Tuesday, I went to the plastic surgeon for my first "pump-up," but, yet again, I was denied. Looks like I won't have my new girls for that early June beach trip afterall.

On a happier note, my hair is growing quickly and I have retired all my hats (except when my head catches cold). Many of my co-workers call me G.I. Jane, but I think that hair is the only resemblance. Soon, I will have a stylish "pixie" cut.

Have a great weekend!

STILL FLAT AS A BOARD

We've returned from the plastic surgeon and I regret to inform you that I didn't get pumped up today. Apparently, I need to heal for three more weeks until my first session. The damn chemo slows down healing.

LIFE'S JOYS: TRASH TV

Ok, I admit it. I am a sucker for trash TV. The OC, the Bachelorette, desperate Housewives, Project Runway are among some of my favorite TV shows that I rarely miss. Why do I watch this crap? It is my release and break from reality. What's the big deal? My fiancee hates this about me. Why does he care? I know I should spend my time reading a book or preparing for graduate school, but I love the twists and turns in the satirical desperate Housewives, watching Americans navigate the world in the Amazing Race is interesting and sometimes horrifying, and the ridiculous conquests of wealthy teens on the OC is just plain fun. So, as long as there is trash on TV, I will probably be watching it. Let's just hope that I get TIVO soon so it won't interfere with my graduate studies.

PUMP, PUMP, PUMP ME UP

I am off to my first expanding session. I wish that the expanding process was as easy as the old-school reebok pumps. Here's what's going to happen for those of you that are curious.

After my mastectemy, the plastic surgeon came in and inserted expanders under my chest muscles (think of them as deflated implants). Every couple weeks or so, I go back to the plastic surgeon and she will find a "tap" of sorts and fill up the expanders with saline. I will continue to have regular fill-ups until my muscles and skin is sufficiently stretched out. Then, I will go back for another surgery to get my new boobs.

Wish me luck!

BRING ON THE FUZZ

The peachfuzz that is. It appears that I have a fine layer of peachfuzz on my head, and I can't tell you how excited I am about it! I think that it is too early to tell if I will fall victim to the "chemo curl" that I've been hearing about, but I will be sure to keep you posted.

My recovery is from the surgery is going well. I went back to work yesterday for a half day and will do so today. Tuesday I see the plastic surgeon for my first "fill up." More to come on that!

THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME

This is a note dictated by Sarah, typed by Matt...

Hey, I'm home... I'm resting... and I'm on DRUGS!!!!!

Here's a picture of my ring...

NEW YEAR, NEW BOOBS, NEW NAME

New year: Happy new year everyone!

New boobs: I'm off to Northside hospital tomorrow morning for surgery. I am having a bilateral mastectemy (that's both girls) with reconstruction. Bring on the C cup!

New name: As of January 1, 2005, I'm engaged! So, I'll be getting a new name in the future. You know a guy loves you when you're hairless and boobless!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

I am off to Montana tomorrow to celebrate the holidays with the Helwick clan. There will be lots of food, Christmas morning mimosas....my favorite, and, hopefully, snow.

Wishing you and yours the very best holiday season!

HAIR REPORT

THREE WEEKS OUT

Greetings! This is the first of many biweekly hair reports. Now that chemo is finally over, my hair should start growing back. At three weeks, nothing has happened (note: I did not lose all my hair. The "peachfuzz" that you see never came out).

In other news, I am scheduled for a bilateral mastectemy with reconstruction on January 5th. Happy New Year!